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Joke of the Day
"Me: So, you come here often? Him: .....we're in my house."
Next Joke
"me: Go back! uber driver: Did I miss the turn? me [already in the front seat trying to find the station that was playing Taylor Swift]"
"Here lies IcarusIsNotLonely, upon his gravestone lie his last words: ""Oh fuck, a car!"""
"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer. What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs? Still no eye deer. What do you call a deer with no eyes, legs, or genitalia? Still no fucking eye deer."
"Ghosts wear sheets because nobody's scared of sleeping bags."
"What Does A Nazi Turkey Say? Goebbels, Goebbels, Goebbels"
"Just found out that McDonald's is serving all-day breakfast ... ... all day breakfast? I don't have that kind of time."
"What is a frog's favorite dance? The Lindy Hop."
"Why doesn't the Easter Bunny make noise when he has sex? Because he has Cottonballs"
"Slept like a log last night..... Woke up in the fire place"