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Joke of the Day
"I just broke up with my blind girlfriend. We just didn't see eye to eye anymore."
Next Joke
"""And that's the last time I ever pet a lion"", said Tom, offhandedly."
"Just LMAO and spent 6 hours in surgery getting it reattached. It's not funny."
"So they're coming out with a new $10 bill featuring a woman. But it's only worth $7.70."
"Donald Trump told me what his favorite childhood game was. Bashing the Mexican Pinata."
"In many ways Trump presidency is like one of your stupider Adam Sandler movies. Basically stupid, but sometimes funny. Ridiculous premise."
"[marriage counseling] Wife: I just wish he wasn't so clingy Husband: YOU KNEW I WAS A BARNACLE, LINDA"
"I like my women like I like my hard drives... FAT and 32."
"What kind of shoes do they wear in Holland? Wooden shoe like me to tell you. [Props to my 8-year-old daughter for this one]"
"A guy goes to see a psychiatrist He's frantic. He says to the doctor, ""I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'M A WIGWAM, I'M A TEEPEE!"" The doctor says, ""calm down, you're two tents."""