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Joke of the Day

"If someone steals my lunch from the fridge at work, I get on the office PA system and do the Liam Neeson speech from Taken."

"Bad religious joke I created. One day Jesus is talking to god and says, ""Hey dad, guess what I did today?"" God: ""What?"" Jesus: ""I walked on water."" God: ""No way."" Jesus: ""Yahweh!"" Badum, tss"

"What did the guy with bad internet get? Loading..."

"If my teacher saw me staring at her from behind Then I was staring at her ass"

"What do a tornado and a black man have in common? They both can ruin a neighborhood."

"I wish my lawn was emo... ...so it would cut itself"

"Was there a good turnout at the Bernie Sanders rally? There were a lot of people, but I wouldn't say it was super pac'd."

"Why did the bald guy cut a hole in his pocket? Because he wanted to run his fingers through his hair."

"How do you find Will Smith in a snowy forest? You look for his fresh prints. ( )"

"Throughout the history of espionage, the phrase ""We have ways of making you talk."" Has yet to be used on a woman."