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Joke of the Day

"Throughout the history of espionage, the phrase ""We have ways of making you talk."" Has yet to be used on a woman."

"Autocorrect is changing correctly spelled words. I'm starting to think it has a mind of its AUTOCORRECT IS HARMLESS. GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS."

"What do you give and take at the same time? a poop"

"What is the most painful way to be measured In megahertz"

"Whats the difference between light and hard You can sleep with a light on."

"Start a slow-clap in a quiet, crowded room. The first person that joins you, marry them. They're your soulmate."

"Mom, i'm going out -You are not going out with that mini skirt. -But why? -Because they can see your balls, David."

"The good news is, it turns out there is literally nothing we can say here that will ruin our chances at a political career."

"What do you call a boner you don't want? A groaner."

"Yo momma is like cheap laundry detergent Not as soft, doesn't smell as good, but gets way more loads"