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Joke of the Day

"I've been dating a homeless girl So I've been dating this homeless girl. Things are getting pretty serious. She asked me to move out with her."

"Stephen Hawking can actually be pretty funny sometimes... But I don't think he's got what it takes to do stand-up."

"My sense of humor is so sophisticated... ...it's not even funny."

"I was born Mary Patterson... but then I married and, naturally, I took my husbands name. So now I'm Neil Patterson. From ""A Bit of Fry and Laurie"""

"We should just name hurricanes after politicians. That way we wouldn't have to worry about them actually coming through with anything."

"I find whiteboards to be absolutely fascinating. They're remarkable."

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, was the dwarfs' mother high when she named them all?"

"if you're literally asking me to choose between our relationship and my career as a reporter well then I've got some news for you"

"Say pns U just said penis :)"

"When is it ok to snipe police officers? As Dallast resort."