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Joke of the Day

"I find whiteboards to be absolutely fascinating. They're remarkable."

"I thought this guy on the subway was yawning. Turns out he was just a mute sitting on a tack."

"Me: ""you hang up"" Her: ""no you hang up"" Me: ""no you hang up"" Her: ""no y-"" Jail clerk: ""sir, you only get one phone call."""

"If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, what would he be famous for? Old age."

"Many Americans don't know the opposites of the following words: * Always * Coming * From * Take * Me * Down"

"Where does marine wildlife get treated? The Squid-ward."

"After seeing the ""Women don't talk much in Star Wars"" video... Maybe that's how they got so much done"

"GARY BUSEY: I WANNA WRITE A BOOK HIS AGENT: gary that's a bad ideahow'd you feel about a ghost writer? GARY: SCARED AS HELL BUT I LIKE IT"

"I've wanted to post this forever. This."

"Some people mock me because I'm a virgin but I don't give a fuck (This is probably a repost because it's so unoriginal)"