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Joke of the Day

"Stephen Hawking can actually be pretty funny sometimes... But I don't think he's got what it takes to do stand-up."

"how can you tell you whenyou're in a ring of fire? When you reach for the Preparation H but accidentally grabbed a BenGay."

"In retrospect, the kidnapping was going according to plan until I blew my nose on the rag I'd soaked with chloroform."

"What's the difference between a midget and a dwarf? Little."

"I bought Bonnie Tyler's car last year on ebay.... I bought Bonnie Tyler's car last year on ebay.It's fucking awful, every now and then it falls apart."

"I walked into chemistry class... It was Boron"

"What do you call a dumb nerd? A geek."

"Militant feminists: I take my hat off to them. They don't like that."

"Good thing ""you only live once"" has really caught on otherwise we might all kill ourselves like it's no big deal"

"On the last day of camp everyone was asked the same question: 'What is the best part of the camp?' One wise guy answered 'Going home!'"