81124

Joke of the Day

"Did you know there is one colour that can time travel? It can only go to the fuchsia."

"So a. Mormon and a Catholic walk into a bar... And there goes your middle class."

"What do you have to bring if you visit r/nsfw_gifs? Giffy Lube."

"Some guy tried to cut me off in traffic and I screamed, ""I'm wearing a sports bra to a business meeting, I am afraid of nothing!"""

"My daughter's boyfriend left his wallet here. I put girls names & numbers in it. Later today I'll ask my daughter if he has change for a $20"

"The inventor of predictive text has died. His funfair will be hello on Sundial. #1PUN"

"What is green and smells like pork? Kermits finger..."

"TIL the tooth brush was invented in Arkansas. If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called the teeth brush."

"Why couldn't the American fly home from Russia after the Olympics? Because he was Snow'den."

"What would I be if I were twice myself? a meme."