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Joke of the Day

"What do you have to bring if you visit r/nsfw_gifs? Giffy Lube."

"I decided to sell my Hoover... Well, it was just collecting dust."

"I got into a fight with an artist last night... We drew."

"Star Wars (1977): A wounded warrior overcomes severe burn injuries to build a massive empire only to see his estranged son destroy it."

"A woman is like a parachute can refuse at any time, that's why you need to have a spare one."

"Notre Dame beat Navy yesterday. If Navy beats ISIS, does that help Notre Dame's strength of schedule?"

"What do you call a cow that has a record player, tight pants, and thick brimmed glasses? A hip-steer."

"Premature ejaculators are like Christians They are all waiting for resurrection and second coming."

"9000 people are having sex right now, 2000 are kissing, 100 are geting head and you are reading my status. Hang in there mate"

"What's the best way to make a girl weak in the knees? Kick em."