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Joke of the Day

"My daughter's boyfriend left his wallet here. I put girls names & numbers in it. Later today I'll ask my daughter if he has change for a $20"

"Man to wife: Business is bad, if YOU learn TO cook we can remove servant. Wife: If YOU learn how to fuck we can remove driver, gardener & watchman..."

"""I hate burritoes!"" -No Juan ever"

"A Dyslexic man walks into a bra"

"[Dollar Store Interview] ""What are your qualifications?"" [Slides over a dollar] ""Cashier job is yours"" [Slides $2] ""Welcome to Management"""

"Why do women find the guy in 50 Shades of Grey sexy? beats me"

"Apparently someone in Detroit gets stabbed every 3 minutes. Poor bastard."

"The premise of The Exorcist is truly terrifying. Imagine having a 12-year-old daughter."

"When tragedy strikes your community, McDonald's will still be there to take your money."

"Santa claus may only come once a year... But when he does he does it, on Dasher! On Dancer! On Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen!"