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Joke of the Day

"I was going to tell a gay joke... butt fuck it."

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"What do you call Call Of Duty in the middle east ? Tuesday"
"If you held a gun to my head and forced me to choose Tobey Maguire's Spider-Man or Andrew Garfield's, I'd probably shit my pants."
"Finish this joke, ""I am Christian and I believe in science. In fact, I studied Physics at a Catholic University."" So far I have, ""Physics at a Catholic University? That's like studying... at a ..."""
"What do you call a bouncy plane? Boeing Boeing Boeing"
"Why couldnt the bike stand on its own? Because it was two tired!"
"A termite walks into a bar and asks... ... Where's the bar tender?"
"Did you hear about the prostitute who had a vagina surgically implanted on her hip? She wanted to make a little money on the side."
"I really needed something positive in my life so I finally got tested."
"If someone stands you up and doesn't call, stay positive. They could be dead."