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Joke of the Day

"Why don't nice people ride the train? Because they're usually found on trucks."

"If you can't hear me it's because I'm in parentheses."

"My girlfriend asked me if I felt like aural. I think that's where it goes in one ear and out the other."

"""Does this uniform make me look fat?"" Asked the insecurity guard."

"If I went house hunting I'd take a really big gun."

"My friend can only masturbate when he listens to really bad music. Beats off."

"They say there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so i killed him before he could cause any harm."

"The Pillsbury Doughboy just passed away. His funeral service will take place at 3:50 and it will take 15-18 minutes."

"Reddit has become very clickbaity lately Tricked you."

"How girls put on their pants: *Left leg*, *Right leg*, '' Wiggle*, *Wiggle*, *twerk*, *Jump*, *Jump*, *Squat*, *Stretch* Done."