49070

Joke of the Day

"They say there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so i killed him before he could cause any harm."

"What's the difference between Jesus and other carpenters? Jesus may actually return some day."

"When I die I want to be be reincarnated as a spider. Just so I can finally hear a women say ""Oh my God, it's huge!"""

"Did you hear about the blonde who missed the 44 bus? She took the 22 twice instead."

"and asks for a drink. A time traveller walks into a bar"

"Some people wake up in the morning & are all like ""omg I'm the luckiest person in the world"" and I wake up all like ""oh my god"""

"Got caught checking out another woman? Turn to your woman and say ""Did you see how ugly that girl's hair was?"""

"So summer is coming up and i think I'm in good enough shape to pull off a two piece. The hardest part is just chasing her down."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic guy playing Bingo? When he filled in a row, he yelled, ""BOING!"""

"Just dyed a bald eagle red, white & blue & forced my family to eat 3 apple pies each. We're all crying. It's awesome."