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Joke of the Day

"The Pillsbury Doughboy just passed away. His funeral service will take place at 3:50 and it will take 15-18 minutes."

"I met a NASCAR driver once He told me his only regret in life was turning right."

"So I got these shoes from my drug dealer... I don't know what he laced it with but I have been tripping all day. s/o to my professor for telling this joke to me today and giving me a good laugh."

"Why was the cake afraid of mobsters? He knew they were going to ice him."

"Give a man a jacket and he can leave the house during Winter. Teach a man to jack it and he'll never leave the house."

"My Egyptian friend's dad drowned yesterday... He's still in denial."

"another polish joke why do polish people keep empty bottles in the fridge? for those that don't want anything to drink"

"After my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, I decided to start thinking about names. In the end I went for Juan Carlos and hopped on the next flight to Spain."

"Home buying tips: -Up & coming area = Murders -Good for young professional = Cheap bc of murders -Open layout = See murders from the kitchen"

"The local police station had their toilet stolen. The cops say they have nothing to go on."