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Joke of the Day

"Reddit has become very clickbaity lately Tricked you."

"How do you tell if you've posted an anitjoke in /r/Jokes? If someone comments saying you posted an antijoke and that you should rather post your joke in /r/antijokes."

"One Wish If I was a governor the first thing I'd do, is make having a family garden an excessive tax write-off: and I'd have the most beautiful state ever."

"Why did the vulture get kicked off the flight? He brought the wrong carrion."

"What did the robot say to the centipede? ""Stop being a centipede."" Get it, because the robot has no arms! Hahhahaha, gets me everytime."

"Did you hear the one about the Mormon porn star? They spent a year doing missionary work."

"Called my Doctor, in a panic, serious difficulty ""passing"" urine. Turns out, it's just that I drive a shitty mini-van."

"*answers phone call from boss* I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING ME AT WORK!"

"Hope you guys like this, it's been a tough day. I bought a pair of sneakers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day. :("

"85% of the time I spend in a bathroom stall is spent waiting for the other person in the bathroom to leave."