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Joke of the Day
"The safest place to stand when I hit a golf ball, is directly in front of me.."
Next Joke
"I have always wanted to swim with dolphins But they keep dying on me during the bus ride to the pool."
"How many optometrist does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1... or 2?? Or 1? Or 2?"
"Environmentally friendly means to stop burning bridges and just throw people off of them"
"I hate One Direction fans... Oscillating ones cool down a room much better."
"Hey girl, what is your sine? It must be pi/2 because you are the one."
"My calling in life went straight to voicemail."
"A fat man complained to a doctor that obesity runs in the family The doctor replied: It's not obesity that runs in the family, it's that no one runs in your family."
"twitter might remove the 140 character limit so i'm putting some 800 word tweets with character development & plot twists in my drafts"
"Everyone keeps talking about tragedies but then does nothing about it. Just like this post."