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Joke of the Day
"My calling in life went straight to voicemail."
Next Joke
"I'm about to have sex with my second cousin. Hopefully she's as good as the first one."
"""Mommy, why did Santa decide to deliver presents on Jesus' birthday."" Shits about to get REALLY dishonest up in here."
"forgive me Father for I have sinned, this is my fourth slice of pizza"
"Girl are you the Iraq invasion because this was a mistake"
"MISSING: 5 year old LAST SEEN: Moments after I said, ""Bath time."" DESCRIPTION: Naked, sporting 20-23 Spider-Man band-aids"
"GTA V for the PC is taking so long to release... all of the radio stations will play classic hits."
"I just did an alignment on my car... But my car still pulls into crowds :("
"What did Paul McCartney say to John Lennon while going through a swinger phase Got to get you into my wife"
"Cutest joke ever What does a red grape tell a purple grape? Breathe, you idiot! Breathe!!"