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Joke of the Day

"I have always wanted to swim with dolphins But they keep dying on me during the bus ride to the pool."

"When a woman says ""fine"" what she really means is ""I'm going to say things are fine but they really aren't and I will later throw it back in your face."

"I'd have liked to have ridden a llama into 2011. Shit gets serious when you see someone galloping down the street on llama sipping Tequila."

"""Do you like exotic birds? "" Yea, you do look like you've had a cock-or-two."

"My wife was out of town, so I had to run the morning routine by myself today. I learned a lot. For example, apparently I have two kids."

"A girl was giving me crap in math class. I told her to absolute value her attitude."

"Like my nana used to always say, ""screen shots say more about the person sharing them than anything else"""

"The first time I ever player lacrosse it was fairly stressful every time after that was fairly re-laxing"

"If I can, and you can why Clark Kent?"

"Bad Joke? What did the 2 sundaes say to eachother? I wish it was SUNDAY"