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Joke of the Day
"I hate One Direction fans... Oscillating ones cool down a room much better."
Next Joke
"My Tylenol bottle says ""DO NOT TAKE IF SEAL NOT PRESENT."" Does anyone know how to contact him?"
"What is Fido the dog's favorite part of a tree? Bark! What is his favorite canine? Wolf! How does he like his sex? Ruff!"
"How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the bulb and the other to hold the penis... LADDER! I said ladder!"
"Q: What did the big firecracker say to the little firecracker? A: My pop is bigger than your pop."
"David Bowie = Died at 69 Alan Rickman = Died at 69 Donald Trump = is 69 I think we all understand where this is heading"
"My wife asked me to pass her lip balm, instead, I gave her super glue by mistake. She's still not talking to me..."
"Hey boobs, keep up the good work!"
"How scared was the man who ate cement? Lets just say, he shit a brick."
"How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? You pay for the pizza."