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Joke of the Day
"Yo momma so ugly .. Her portraits hang themselves"
Next Joke
"Women get yeast infections So that they know what it's like to live with an irratating cunt."
"How many Irish does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to hold it in the socket and the other to drink until the room starts spinning!"
"When I was growing up I never knew what I wanted to be, now that I'm older I know that it's younger."
"Did you hear about the Candy Factory they opened on the East Coast? It closed after a month... they couldn't find any good wrappers."
"Finding a date on the internet is so much easier than real life because how are they supposed to know that's not your Ferrari?"
"How is working in I.T. like being a wizard? You command vast powers beyond the scope of smaller minds, but to them all you do is wiggle your fingers and stuff just happens."
"[family game night] Me: do u understand now, grandma? U understand the rules now? Mum [tappin my shoulder]: she gets it. Loosen the headlock"
"My Dog I swear my dog thinks the floor in every room is the dinner table, every time I enter or leave a room she has to stand up."
"Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol."