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Joke of the Day

"How to do fit ten popes in a vw bug? Tell them to take off their hats"

"Men might stare at your tits and ass, but women buy a latex mold of a pen*s and keep it in their drawer. Who's creepy now?"

"All of your inspirational tweets make me want to track you down and pee on something you love."

"If you can't say anything nice about someone, then say it very vaguely and put it as your Facebook status"

"For a guy that could change water into wine, I'm surprised Jesus only got hammered once."

"How are pimples and a priest different? Pimples don't come on your face until you are 12."

"Third time's a charm... Is a much darker phrase in Germany"

"*breaks into your house at night* *finds your bedroom* *blows on you til you wake up* HI I'M CHET CAN I INTEREST YOU IN A SECURITY SYSTEM?"

"Woke up so hungry I could eat my own cooking!"

"How many religious women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Nun. I'll^hear^myself^out... EDIT: Formatting"