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Joke of the Day

"Woke up so hungry I could eat my own cooking!"

"tell me your jokes"

"What's the difference between a feminist and a gun? a gun only has one trigger"

"Me: How's it look? Doc: You have 2 months to live M: WHAT?? You're my dentist! D: Then you don't need to come back for a cleaning in 6 mos"

"Q. Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome a good lover and a stimulating partner? A. In the pages of a romance novel."

"I removed Sean Connery's limbs & replaced them with Daniel Craig's arms & Pierce Brosnan's legs. They formed an unlikely Bond."

"1-buy waterbed 2-fill with wine 3-get Capri Sun straw 4-never leave your bed again"

"Whoever invented the carpet sweeper probably died laughing."

"My son turns 18 today. I bought him a set of luggage for his birthday. Too forward? Maybe it's too forward."

"Happy Birthday Ray Rice! I offered to bring punch to the party but, his wife said she already had enough."