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Joke of the Day

"Men might stare at your tits and ass, but women buy a latex mold of a pen*s and keep it in their drawer. Who's creepy now?"

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"""Morning guys"" ""HOLY SHIT IT'S SUPERMAN!"" - Clark Kent's first day at work wearing contact lenses"
"Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium went on a date? OMG!"
"Great, so a week ago my doctor gave me a letter, which confirmed that I have dyslexia... and now I've received one that says I have tiny tits. Oh no wait, tinnitus."
"I hate when people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years I don't have 2020 vision"
"Judging by the size of her models, I'm guessing Victoria's Secret is lots and lots of cocaine."
"What does a Mexican use to cut pizza with? Little Caesars!"
"Thinking about starting a line of realistic welcome mats with things like ""Please don't stay long!"" or ""I hope you brought booze."""
"An anteater walks into a bar... ""First the horse, now this asshole"" remarked the bartender. Credit: u/reduxde"
"What's the difference between a woman and a bowl of ramen noodles? A bowl of ramen noodles is actually ready in 5 minutes."