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Joke of the Day

"How many religious women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Nun. I'll^hear^myself^out... EDIT: Formatting"

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"They ran out of bread at the Indian restaurant, but it turned out nobody cared. It was a naan issue."
"You know what they say about having big hands and big feet 2 out of 3 is not bad"
"Wife: ""What are you doing?"" Husband : Nothing. Wife : ""Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."" Husband : ""I was looking for the expiration date."""
"LION: Lions don't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep. SHEEP: Shaun thinks your mane looks ridiculous. LION: *upset* Shaun said that?"
"Two blind man at a cinema: ""Can you see something ?"" ""No"". ""Then let's go in front !"""
"Happy Halloween... Why did the Ghost enter the bar... For the BOOOOS"
"""My friend got me a Fitbit"" ME: Oh yeh, heard of them, haven't got one tho ""u can buy them online"" ME [whispering] u can buy friends online?"
"Mum I found Dad Haven't I told you to stop making holes in the garden?"
"I told a blonde joke She didn't get it."