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Joke of the Day
"I saw a woman with no arms today... ...she was statuesque."
Next Joke
"I take the time every night to read Facebook statuses to my children as part of my stay in school campaign."
"ASKHOLE: A person who constantly ask for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them"
"What do you get when you mix an Insomniac a Dyslexic and an Agnostic? Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog?"
"Why did the Hawaiian Hipster burn to death? He walked on lava before it was cool."
"The new guy at work has been getting a lot of customer complaints lately. Probably because I wear his name tag when he's not there."
"Life is like a bunch of chocolates It doesn't last long when you're fat."
"Don't you hate it when you're so high on drugs that simple, everyday, mundane tasks become difficult? Anyway, I pissed on your sofa."
"I'm sorry I jumped on you, from a distance you looked like a conclusion."
"Everything is made in China Except babies. They're made in va-chinas"