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Joke of the Day
"Life is like a bunch of chocolates It doesn't last long when you're fat."
Next Joke
"My new band decided to name ourselves after Samsung.. We're the exploding notes."
""" I made my famous dip for the office party"" You're a regular Abe Lincoln. ""But he wasn't a chef"" Exactly"
"Laying in bed with the wife last night, she asked ""what would you like to do most to my body?""""identify it"" probably wasnt the right answer"
"What is a tree's favorite drink? Root Beer"
"When someone says ""surprise me"", I immediately drop my pants and start singing its raining men."
"Q: Why do Blondes wear padded shoulders? A: So they don't get a concussion while bobbing their from head side to side as they are saying ""I don't know?"" whenever you ask them a question."
"Change is inevitable... Unless you go to a vending machine."
"I have 70 hobbies and they all smell the same. They are 69'ing and fishing"
"Missed Connection: You were attractive. I awkwardly overreacted to your presence."