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Joke of the Day

"I'm sorry I jumped on you, from a distance you looked like a conclusion."

"Who is Thor? A very worn-out thuper hero. (An excerpt from Brother Time and the Turtle: More Excuses for Jokes: http://amzn.com/B00BERRBI2)"

"What did God say to the inventor of the didlo? ""If you build it, they will cum."""

"Why is slave trade illegal Because it's a black market."

"Why did the pirate captain suddenly die? He had an an*yarr*ysm."

"Decided to take all my old watches and join them together to make a new belt... turned out to be a waist of time."

"Two avocados were crossing the road... .. One got hit by a truck so the other one said: Come on, guacamole, catch up!"

"Q: When is a strange dog most likely to go into your house? - A: When the door is open."

"I want to tattoo ""platform 9 and 3/4"" over my ass 'cause you wouldn't think you'd get in there but you can Edit:words"

"What did the mom say when she found out her son took an unexpected trip north? I don't like your latitude!"