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Joke of the Day

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None. Who needs light bulbs under a glass ceiling?"

"My favorite part of the bible is when god gives people free will and then kills everyone with a flood for not acting the way he wanted ."

"Why did Shakespeare refuse to join the army? He didn't like the phrase fire at will!"

"Social media: We're getting rid of chronological order. Everyone: NO! SM: Cool, right?! Everyone: NO! SM: Glad you're excited!"

"I tried a new asian burrito recently, but the green onions kept falling out. Curse those wrap-scallions!"

"A pirate is sitting at a bar... In walks in a civil rights activist, a communist, and a dog. The pirate says, ""Well, today's my lucky day! X, Marx, and the Spot!"""

"If you play a Justin Bieber track backwards... ...You'll hear satanic messages. Even worse, if you play it forward, you'll hear Justin Bieber!"

"Where do the happy people of Baltimore live? In a merry land."

"Dr. Dre Beats."

"Q: What do you get when you cross a sheltie and a cantaloupe? A: A melon collie."