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Joke of the Day

"Social media: We're getting rid of chronological order. Everyone: NO! SM: Cool, right?! Everyone: NO! SM: Glad you're excited!"

"Are you a shark, cause I got some swimmers for you to swallow."

"I said ""Candyman"" 5 times into the bathroom mirror and sure enough some woman came out of the stall and screamed at me for being in there."

"A muslim walks into a bar No one survived the blast."

"Good for you when one door closes & another door opens. For the rest of us that usually means we're in jail."

"What does the torch represent in the hand of the Statue of Liberty? The torch is a symbol of her inability to read in the dark."

"What do you call a guy who refuses to serve people from Finland at his bar? A man with unfinnished buisness."

"what do you call a cow with two legs? Lean meat!!"

"Son's earring Dicks up my ass"

"My favorite mythological creature. My favorite mythical creature is the happy bitch in tampon commercials."