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Joke of the Day

"Me: i'll have a beer Bartender: ok it's on the house buddy Me:*grabbing him by collar* then get it down, i'm not climbing up there again"

"I don't get * Why my son is so disappointed this christmas * He didn't get any presents last year either"

"What do you call it when an immigrant and a pedophile get into a fight? Alien Vs. Predator"

"What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An Investigator"

"Why is the tailor's daughter such a slut? She gives great hem jobs."

"For pimps, prostitution must be alot like using pawn pieces in chess... They use them to do their dirty work, in promise that he'll one day make her into a queen."

"A skeleton walks into a bar... He orders one beer and a mop."

"A rabbit's favourite Christmas song? 'Lettuce with a gladsome mind'"

"I asked my redneck friend what he thought of the Trans-Pacific Partnership He said that as long as they don't marry, then he's okay with it."

"A dyslexic, agnostic insomniac lay awake all night wondering if there is a dog. EDIT: Credit to David Foster Wallace."