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Joke of the Day

"Why did the plane crash??? The pilot was a load of bread!"

"Can I call you? Crush: Yes Errm, I called but you didn't pick Crush: I said you could call, I never said I'd pick up"

"Why do the hamburgers beat the hot dogs at every sport they play? Because hot dogs are the wurst!"

"Why did Jon Snow stand in line for 6 hours at the Apple Store? For the watch? Not really He knows nothing, you can only buy the watch online."

"Why does Oedipus hate to swear? Because he kisses his mother with that mouth"

"The New York Giants."

"As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I say unto myself I SHALL NEVER... USE APPLE MAPS AGAIN..."

"I like to steal other peoples' Viagra... It's a real dick move, I know."

"The strangest thing happened. A coworker who always says, ""Living the dream"" was mysteriously stabbed 37 times in the neck with my car keys."

"4-yr-old saw picture of me pregnant. I explain that she was inside me. She thought for a bit then said: ""I never want to do that again."""