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Joke of the Day

"Ever notice when you need to delete a phone app and you get the icons jiggling? They seem all panicky about who's getting cut from the team"

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"Xbox and PlayStation get into a fight. Call the ambulance. Wii U Wii U Wii U."
"Nobel Peace Prize I would kill for one of those"
"You people remind me of lemons.... You're sour, some people like you, and your juices can be squeezed out for money."
"What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Stroking Off!"
"if a cop ever asks me to count from 100 backwards ..i just get in the back seat"
"What do you call the female version of Donald Trump? "
"*slowly pulls up in a car next to you when ur walking on the sidewalk* ""why did u favorite that instead of retweeting it?"""
"What's brown and sounds like a bell? DUNNNG! What's brown and sounds like a Southern Belle? Blanche Devereaux with a tan."
"I switched my cellphone to 'airplane mode' and threw it up into the air.. must tell you: WORST. TRANSFORMER. EVER."