80403

Joke of the Day

"How many confederate flag bearing husbands does it take to beat up their wives? None, she fell down the stairs."

"You've probably heard this joke before. It's hilearious."

"What's the shortest organ in a goat? An ISIS member's dick."

"Why did Albert Einstein marry his cousin? Because she was his relative"

"""Sir, we are mining too many useless ores"" *Hitler rubs chin* So mine less [Grammar Nazi busts in] ""MINE FEWER"" [Hitler looks up] Yes?"

"What types of trees never get Christmas presents? Knotty Pines."

"Why does the universe expand?.... All the Milky Ways. You get it."

"Sometimes Jesus appears on toast, sometimes pancakes, sometimes waffles. Always on breakfast food. Why? It's the most important meal."

"Sad to hear of the passing of Liesl von Trapp at the age of 73, going on 74."

"AMA Request: Kim Davis. I would like to hear her answer this question, for she seems uniquely qualified to do so: If a man and woman from Kentucky get a divorce, are they still brother and sister?"