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Joke of the Day

"What web page do orphans visit the most? 404 Edit: Sorry it sucks, it's me trying to make oc."

"Adele called her first albums 19 & 21 because they are numbers that have special importance to her life Her follow up 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510 is due out next month."

"What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest? A suicide vest will blow you"

"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey"

"Job interview: ""What's your greatest weakness?"" ""Honesty."" ""I don't think honesty is a weakness."" ""I don't give a fuck what you think."""

"My grandpa died in the holocaust... He fell off the guard tower."

"What happened to the Irishman who tried to blow up a school bus? He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe."

"When someone says we can do something ""weather permitting"" I remind them that weather's not the boss of me. Snow or no snow, I'm not going."

"Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs? Right Where You Left Him."

"87% of my day is spent remembering my kids names and my anniversary and stuff and the other 57% is trying to do math."