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Joke of the Day

"When someone says we can do something ""weather permitting"" I remind them that weather's not the boss of me. Snow or no snow, I'm not going."

"*wakes up* well, it looks like its that time again. time to do just enough activity to convince my body that it needs to go back to sleep"

"My friend just joined ISIS I was always bothered by his Sunni disposition"

"My buddy used to say ""why should I wash my towels? After I shower, I'm the cleanest thing in the room."" He's still single."

"They gave the scarecrow an award for being outstanding in his field. When he accepted the honor he pointed to his parents in the crowd and said, ""What can I say... Hay, it's in my jeans."""

"Two blondes are standing in opposite sides of the river. One yells: - HOW DO I GET TO THE OTHER SHORE?! The other answers: - YOU ARE IN THE OTHER SHORE!"

"What did the cow say to the hay? I chews you"

"A stoner plumber walks into his dealer's house and asks ""where's the shit at?"""

"God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world... ...Then He made the Earth rough and He laughed and laughed..."

"Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of Pupil: Life imprisonment !"