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Joke of the Day

"What kind of bird flies around bays? Bagles"

"What do you call it when an Eevee (Pokemon) evolves into what you want with no interruptions? DirecTV (Say it aloud)"

"What is Forrest Gump's favorite pasta? PENNAY!"

"Heard about the new low fat comminion wafer? it's called ""I can't believe it's not Jesus"""

"Before I had kids I never really reflected on life's little mysteries. For example, why is my toothbrush under the couch?"

"*walking into Home Depot for 2nd time today* Back again? Forget something? -Um, you remember if I brought a kid in here with me last time?"

"What's the difference between a psychotic mental patient and a man with a bible in his hand? Respiridol"

"dispatch: we have a home invasion robbery in progress on the far side of the lake rowboat cop: *grabs oar* I'll be there in 6 hours"

"Jay-Z should open a pizza place. But all good pizza places need a nice Italian name, he could name it.. Lou Menotti's."

"What do you get when you cross a sheep stealer with royalty? Mutton Looter King"