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Joke of the Day
"What is Forrest Gump's favorite pasta? PENNAY!"
Next Joke
"My new year's resolution is to stop using spray deodorant. Roll on 2015!"
"*pays $20 for deluxe car wash* *hits roughly 3,287,998 bugs during 2 mile drive home*"
"Have a bad only child? Apple unveils terrifying robot sibling... iSis."
"There are two types of people: Those who extrapolate from incomplete data... ...and those who understand the importance of error bars."
"I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant... But then i changed my mind."
"Asked for Cheez-its Wife buys Cheese Nips Now she's sitting in the corner thinking about what she did."
"The last thing on earth you want to do will be the last thing you do."
"I heard Simon say, ""Turn to the next page."""
"Just asked my hairstylist for the ""Bieber."" He shaved off all my pubic hair."