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Joke of the Day

"Just got sacked from my job Been working at that jigsaw factory for years I've been in pieces all day :("

"I ate an apple and jerked off with the core in my ass But not in that order"

"Watching a cooking show when ""We believe this was the last dish they served on the Titanic on that fateful day"" I bet that went down well."

"Have you seen the midget outside Walmart, that hides from gay people? Of course you haven't."

"If you hit a car that is blaring Christmas music before Thanksgiving, it will deploy tinsel instead of airbags."

"How do men in New Zealand address their women? ""Hey! Ewe!"""

"If my dying plant is any indication, I probably don't water my dog enough... Oh fuck, where's my kid?"

"If you like to spoon, you'll love to spatula. That's where I flip you over to make certain you're done properly on both sides."

"Picnic Tables What's the difference between a black man and a picnic table? A picnic table can support a family of 4."

"2015. Worse than the death of paper is the death of staplers. Rest in peace you sexy plastic alligators."