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Joke of the Day

"If you hit a car that is blaring Christmas music before Thanksgiving, it will deploy tinsel instead of airbags."

"Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock."

"Costco is a great place to go if you want to shop for 15 minutes and then stand in line and judge people for an hour."

"What's the difference between Ignorance and Apathy? I don't know and I don't care."

"What's the best part about banging twenty two year olds? There's twenty of them."

"My X-gf has a really big heart. I have to give her that. She needs it, to pump all the ice water around."

"What do you call a seagull over the bay? A Bagel"

"Why do sailors use liquid soap? It takes longer to pick up when they drop it."

"What do you call an Irishman sitting on his veranda? Patty O'Furniture."

"How does Optimus Prime stay young looking? Autobotulism"