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Joke of the Day

"If you like to spoon, you'll love to spatula. That's where I flip you over to make certain you're done properly on both sides."

"Let's make this bar joke week. Here's one to start: A man walks into a bar. Ouch."

"What do you call a terrorist from Paris? A Paririst"

"You really have to question the judgment of people who have children on purpose."

"If I could be any super hero, I think I'd be Aluminium Man. My superpower would be foiling crime."

"A magic tractor drives down the road.. and turns into a field"

"If you're Italian in the kitchen and Russian in the hallway what are you in the bathroom? European."

"Did you hear about the Brazilian guy who won the lottery? He is now a Brazilianaire."

"When I'm on a golf course and it starts to rain and lightning, I hold up my one-iron Because even God can't hit a one-iron"

"In the 1945-6 Nuremberg Trials what should have been the opening statement from the defence counsel representing the Nazi War criminals? 'If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.'"