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Joke of the Day
"Thanks for sharing your moon with me on Instagram. We don't have a moon where I live."
Next Joke
"I asked a scientist how close humanity is to speed-of-light travel ""We're relatively far off."""
"You know what they call alternative facts that are true? Facts."
"Why can't cars fly kites? Because of the windshield."
"""Hi I can't remember the name of this actress.You know her, she's in that movie you saw. She's got that hair."" -actual message from my mom"
"He told me he was uncomfortable dating someone with so much inflatable furniture."
"You don't love Dunkin' Donuts coffee, you love heavy cream."
"A guy kept telling his girlfriend not to turn her head away near the end of a blow job...... Did she listen ? Nope..... it went in one ear and out the other"
"What do you call a trio of Muslims? The Three Mosqueteers."
"A man went to see his doctor ""You need to stop masturbating"" said the doctor. ""Why?"" asked the man. The doctor replied ""Because I'm trying to examine you!"""