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Joke of the Day

"Why can't cars fly kites? Because of the windshield."

"If you think the USA can shoot down nuclear missiles fired by North Korea just remember we couldn't even have lights at the Super Bowl."

"My wife is leaving me I was having sex with her twin when she came in. I tried telling her I was doing it because thought it was her. She didn't buy it. It didn't help that his dick was in my ass."

"Just had a kale and quinoa salad and now my name is Autumn and I braid my hair and drive a Subaru."

"Just been to my first Muslim birthday party. The 'musical chairs' was a bit slow, but 'pass the parcel' was damn quick!"

"Yo mama so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh-eating disease, the doctor gave her 10 years to live."

"2 bats hanging on a branch Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch. One asks the other, ""Do you recall your worst day last year?"" The other responds, ""Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"""

"Why do people wash their clothes in Tide? Because it's too cold out-tide."

"How can you tell when an Iranian boy has matured? They take the diaper off his ass and put it on his head."

"[dinner at brother's house] ""So where are the kids?"" Brother: I grounded them. *spits out meatloaf*"