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Joke of the Day
"He told me he was uncomfortable dating someone with so much inflatable furniture."
Next Joke
 
"Did you hear about the Middle Eastern beauty contest? Me neither."
"*job interview* Boss: Give an example of when you've done something creative Me: When I listed my 'experience' on the application form"
"My priest was pretty upset today. Nobody at mass bought him a Father's Day card."
"Me: My flight was canceled so I won't be home until tomorrow. Her: but you said you were just going out for milk."
"Where do bad pigs go? They get sent to the pen."
"If the shoe fits, wear it. And if these shoes belong to someone else, walk away briskly."
"Depression starts in a part of the brain called the Hippocampus Which is strange because I always thought hippos loved studying."
"What do you get when you pour root beer into a square glass? Beer X-post from /r/imsmartandthisisfunny"
"POUR SOME HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP ON ME!!!!"