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Joke of the Day

"What's the same about George Washington, and a tranny? They both chopped down their own cherry trees."

"Saying a prayer for all the turkeys tomorrow. Also the single people with concerned relatives."

"What do you call a short Mexican? A paragraph because hes not quite yet an essay."

"What did the bad soccer announcer get in his stocking? COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!"

"Did you hear about how James Bond slept through an earthquake? He was shaken, not stirred."

"What does Robert, Khloe, and Kim Kardashian all have in common? They all know how to get black men off."

"I'm really good at making jazzy versions of rap songs in my bathroom but I don't know how to put that on my resume so I'll just demonstrate?"

"Some people think that killing animals with helium is wrong... I don't judge... Whatever floats your goat."

"I got a 100 dollar giftcard to Kmart and now I can't decide which Kmart I want to buy."

"Priest: Do you take this woman to be your wife? Me: ""I do"" Priest: Ok can you say it again without using finger quotes while you do it"