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Joke of the Day

"What's the same about George Washington, and a tranny? They both chopped down their own cherry trees."

"My uncle Robert was a shit ventriloquist He used to stick his hand up my arse and tell me to say nothing"

"Pretty cool you had a healthy meal while I was eating the icing off an entire cake."

"I saw a kid pretending to be a dinosaur by himself today... He looks lonely so I decided to go and join him. After a while, his mother came by and told me off. Turns out he had Cerebral Palsy."

"Hey, Edgar Allen, go ahead and Poe me up another drink! Don't tell me to be quiet, lady! Why are there so many books in this bar?"

"Do you know what a woman says when she sees a big dick? I know."

"What did the surfer say to David Carradine? Hang tight"

"If you dropped two noodles on the floor, they would probably resemble my name more than my signature does..."

"At what point does a Lamb become a Sheep? When its had it's Baaaaa-Mitzvah!"

"Why did the Aggie call 911 in the car wash? - He thought he saw the rotating car washer as a tornado"