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Joke of the Day
"I stopped trying to keep up with the Kardashians. I'm too out of shape."
Next Joke
"If I don't eat all of my food, it goes to waste. If I do eat all of my food, it goes to *waist*."
"The best part about talking to a narcissist is how there isn't any pressure to add to the conversation."
"Research has shown that men think about sex every 15 sex."
"""Come on now, I'm sure that Megatron isn't such a bad guy when you get to know him..."" - Optimist Prime."
"If you steal my tweets I'll just unfollow you cuz your tweets are terrible."
"I'm going to make a comedy about plumbers. It's going to be called snakes in a drain."
"I treat pavement like Tampax Because some bitches bleed on it!"
"I poured my root beer into a square cup Now I've just got beer."
"Last week I competed in the World Tanning Championships.. I came out with a Bronze.."