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Joke of the Day

"Some people think that killing animals with helium is wrong... I don't judge... Whatever floats your goat."

"My crushes are like the sun They're hot and if I stare for too long, I get hurt."

"My ex wife. Ya know, my ex-wife still misses me. But 'ER aim is gettin' better."

"My dog won't stop playing the piano I guess you can say she... Won't stop Bach-ing"

"Coworker: I like working with you. I feel like I can really talk to you Me: I'm sorry I gave you that impression. That's not correct"

"What deadly disease can bowls contract? Ebowla"

"Sea levels aren't rising due to global warming. They are rising due to the increase in obesity. The continents are actually sinking..."

"What do you call a director of an anti-vampire organization? A stakeholder."

"Did you hear about the gay turtle? Finally came out of it's shell."

"Just seen Michael J Fox at the local Garden centre Well pretty sure it was him, he had his back to the fuchsias."