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Joke of the Day

"My 4 y/o doesn't realize that things in life have happened before his existence. I bet this is what life is like for Kanye. Let's be gentle."

"Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because he only comes once a year and when he does, it's down the chimney."

"I wish I was a girl So I can use my menstruation cycle as my calendar."

"I wish I was invisible & could fly... I'd then beat up a mime and see how much applause he gets."

"If you're feeling bored, find a group photo of 4 girls on Instagram, and then comment, ""You 3 look great!"" Magic will happen afterwards..."

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm an electric eel That's shocking!"

"Wife [walking into house]: Ummm.. Me: [recreating ""You Better Shape Up Scene"" from Grease with my dog dressed as Sandy]: You're home early."

"I would pay so much money to watch the Harlem Globetrotters change a baby."

"Having sex is like you're doing fractions it is improper for the larger one to be on top"

"Saying MILF... in an *incestous* family has a completely different meaning..."