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Joke of the Day

"I wish I was invisible & could fly... I'd then beat up a mime and see how much applause he gets."

"*interrupts planning of heist* Where are we going for dinner after the robbery"

"Why are the news media like a prostitute? Because they are good at making stuff up."

"Tonight you will be bound and beaten until you almost loose consciousness and your tear ducts are dry Sorry wrong sub"

"you never gotta worry about me cheating on you... i might eat something that was yours but thats about it"

"What do you call it when a black chick shows you her pussy? Nutella Spread"

"Did you hear about the suicide bomber that became a Youtube sensation? He never thought he'd blow up like this."

"What type structural support do you make out of phone books? A call-em"

"How to deal with anger and resentment toward someone: 1. Write down feelings and put message in a bottle 2. Break bottle over person's head"

"STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward."