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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because he only comes once a year and when he does, it's down the chimney."

"Who said chivalry is dead, I open the door at least a hundred times a day for my cat and dogs."

"I read a story of a 17 year old kid who stole a plane, crashed it, and survived Why don't we just build the whole plane out of that kid?"

"""and this blood shall be called A+"" all the other blood types: ""k wow we're like right here"""

"No one can text faster than a pissed off woman"

"I shouldn't be forced to have black friends. I know my whites."

"Does anyone know which homeless shelters provide wifi?"

"I wonder if the first person to ever pop corn thought they were under attack."

"Q: Did you hear about the man who was Polishing the flagpole? A: He varnished into thin air!"

"I'm not concerned with babies on airplanes, but grown adults who don't fly often need their own terminal."