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Joke of the Day

"Wife [walking into house]: Ummm.. Me: [recreating ""You Better Shape Up Scene"" from Grease with my dog dressed as Sandy]: You're home early."

"How many Mexicans does it take to run a computer? Dos"

"If Taylor Swift wasn't a famous singer, I bet she'd be crazy fucking annoying on Facebook."

"I grew up Catholic... and one of the things I hated was going to church, with the constant standing up, sitting down and kneeling. I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me."

"What jobs have you found out about that made you think ""why does this exist""?"

"Why Does Michael J Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients."

"I wish people would stop making gay jokes Cum on guys!"

"It is divided in 2 parts - left & right. Unlike others your brain is a master piece, It is divided in 2 parts Left & Right. In left nothing is Right & in right nothing is Left!"

"I like my wine how I like my women 15 years old and locked in a basement"

"As a broke college student, do you know what the best vehicle to have is? A scholarSHIP. I'm sorry."